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Regrets. . .

How can anyone live their own life if they regret? Worse yet, are people that have no regrets those that have no morals?
Where is the line between living in regret and caring about your bad deeds?

I know that I have done some things that I am not proud of, but I would do them again. . .
Is that wrong of me? Or is it worse to wonder what I could have done different?

I really do wonder. . .

If only there was an answer to this question. Then I could be sure of myself.

15...

Write fifteen statements, intended for different people. Never tell which one corresponds to whom. Write things you've always wanted to tell people.

Well I have seen this done a few times and it sounded interesting. . .


1. You were my closest friend. I am not sure what happened, maybe we just drifted apart because we never saw each other. . . What I do know is how much I miss hanging out with you. You were and are a great friend and I am so glad to see you happy again.

2. I have known you for years now. I used to have the biggest crush on you. Now we have both grown up and you moved. It is hard to have so many people leave at such a young age. . . I wonder if that is why I am the way I am. . . Well it sure is cool to be able to talk to you again after all these years. . .

3. Life is ironic. . . I remember us talking about how it would be kind of cool to move somewhere and start over. And now you have. . . Life has been hard without someone like you to talk to. So many things, which I don't talk to anyone about, you know. I know that having a friend like you was one of God's greatest gifts to me. I will miss our talks.

4. I have been captivated by your beauty for a long time. When you told me what you really felt, well it hurt. But I do believe that it truly strengthened our friendship.

5. You hurt me. So badly. . . I truly wanted to be with you. Now I know that it was for the best because we would have never worked anyway. . . The worst thing is how I regret ever asking you out. . . I was so pressured into it. I did want to, but I knew I shouldn't ask. . . Then I thought the world was great when you said yes. Well about a month later you say that you are not ready for a relationship. You even go as far as to use the cliché, "It's not you, it's me." And then I get a call from your sister telling me how you just liked me as a friend. . . Wow! I wish I knew who was lying then. . . Well I did not want to face you again. Then some serious drama broke out. . . Now that we are over each other you are thinking of dating again. . . I just wish that I would have listened to my instincts and never asked. . . Lesson learned, trust your gut.

6. The ladies. You are always in trouble with the ladies. Whenever I talk to you life sucks because she does not love you. You showed me how hard relationships are. Because of your example I am living in the land of monks. No girlfriends. None of that stuff. It just causes too much trouble.

7. My first real girlfriend. We had some good times that I would never take back. Oh the snow! When I see the snow thoughts of you and I come flying. I just wish that we could actually see each other more often. We would talk on the phone for hours about nothing, it was just the sound of each other's voice that made it worth while. I doubt that I loved you, but it sure felt that way. . . We need to talk more.

8. When I think of what I want to be like, you show up in my mind. You have always reminded me of myself, but better. You have always been a positive role model and I am sad that you had to move. . . A theme in my life. . .

9. You. You are the worst thing to happen to me. The sad thing is that we were friends. We would do things that no one should do. You messed up my mind. I look back and wish that we never met. . .

10. Oh 5th grade. . . I had always thought you were a freak before then. At school you and I were always together. You were not the best influence in my life, but that has to do with your semi-evil father. I don't know if he beat you, but I know that you were abused emotionally, at least. I hope that you are doing better in life. I hope that your dad is away from you. Good luck my friend. . .

11. Innocence. . . The one thing that you took from me. I was so young and impressionable. . . I don't even remember what happened. Well I do remember playing truth or dare. . . God I hate that game. You should have known that I was too young for this crap. If only you would have known what it would do to the future me. . . I have forgiven you, but there is still that pain. I don't hate people, but if I had to say I hate someone. . . It would be you.

12. You are a great friend and mentor. I am so glad to have met you. You showed me a different side of myself. You helped get me out of my bubble. You have helped me grow and stretch. I wish that I had as much self-esteem as you. . .

13. Freshmen year, that is when I met you. Man we grew into fast friends. We hung out all the time. Pool parties, beach trips, broomball. Man we had fun. It was your moving that really strengthened our friendship. I have always wanted to tell you something and when I did it amazed me that you understood. I did not think anyone on this planet would. . . I am truly glad to have someone that I can talk to about anything.

14. You have been a great inspiring friend. You are a great person and you have a genuine sense of responsibility. You are funny and great to talk with. I am glad to have you as my friend. I just wish that our friendship would grow. I want to be able to tell you more than I do. . .

15. You have always been there for me. I have rarely looked to you for guidance and doubt a lot of things that you say, but I will always respect and love you.

New blog.

So yeah this is my new blog. Not too much specieal about me, just a Christian guy that wishes to voice some of my opinions.