Backlog of angst poems

Time fleeting, written several months ago.

----

Thinking about the fact
This might not work
This might not last
Hurts. Because everything in me
wants to be with you. Always
Even when I think you're being judgmental,
Annoying, conceited or otherwise ridiculous.
It doesn't matter
What matters
Who really cares, as long as you're around
Nothing really matters

Words written by you
Always astound me
Always cause pondering
Words, so inaccurate
Without a clue
Without a hint
Time leaving
No love
No pain
Time fleeting

----

IFLS-2, written the night it ended the 2nd time.

I feel like shit

I can't sleep

not without special liquid help

And a cigarette or two

What is wrong with me

I thought I had this shit

figured out

I was wrong

Way too wrong

Maybe it's just a phase

someday I'll have my shit together

But not now

not here

not today

Why?

Because it's hard

to pretend

everything's all right

I've done that

tried it

been there

done that

It's lame.

bullshit

which I've become

a master of

So maybe I'll be honest

tell people how I really think

what I care about

what I don't

who 

I 

Am

Maybe...

----

IFLS-3, written a few weeks ago.

I can't fucking believe this

you left me like this

after Rachel died

while my faith has died

during all the shit going down in my life

I just wish you were here

you could hold me like you used to

but no longer

Not anymore, you're gone now

from my life, forever

I want it so badly

but there is no way

not anymore

No hope

for you and I

I wish there was

But you broke it off with me

needing space to change

to become your own person

And honestly

unless you are able to see reason

we can never get back together

I hope you see the light

become enlightened

realize that there is no way

The cross can be

It's false

fake

bullshit

Don't let your life be controlled

by these things people did

2000 years ago.