Sometimes I tear up
thinking of friends
that used to be so close
yet now are far
away from me
out in life
enjoying their lives
with girlfriends
wifes
boyfriends
husbands
sigh....

It's not like I hate them for that
it's just that I miss them, a lot
people that once where
the closest of friends
have now become
friends I love, to death and back
yet I hardly see them
and then my mind starts a buzzing
wondering things that I know the answer to
"are they avoiding me? do they hate me?
what did I do?"
I know, really I do
that they are just busy with life
love, work, school
it's nothing against me
I'm not that special
but what can I do?
my brain just does it without my control
without even trying or caring about my thoughts
about being rational
about thinking and those smart, intelligent kinds of things.
It bugs me when it does this.